April is Infertility Month

I wanted to write something about April being  Infertility Awareness month.  To say that dealing with infertility is a tough thing is like say the ocean is big. I a stumbled on  this blog and this one and thought they were way better than anything I could ever say.  But I'll share with you a story.  I hesitate a little in the telling I think because it's kind of personal, but also because I don't believe the story is at an end yet, and I hate to tell a half written story, but nonetheless here it is. 

We had recently moved.  Dutifully the Relief Society president came over to introduce herself and get to know me.  She asked how long we had been married (a pretty standard question in a get to know you section).  When I told her, her response surprised me.  She proceeded to tell me that her first son was adopted and how long they waited and hoped to be parents, and how wonderful it was to have her son through adoption (he was 19 at the time).  Well at that I basically broke down and bawled.  Something I never do especially in front of people I just barely met.  And I told her that we were thinking about starting the adoption process.  She told me several time that I could call her anytime to cry on her shoulder.  That comment alone let me know that she understood what I was going through.  From then on she was so sweet to me.  It wasn't anything really big.  She was never over bearing, or pushing.  But would on occasion quietly ask how things were going.  I remember her asking me after we were on the 'pick us list' how long we had been waiting.  It had been about a year.  She got so excited because we were a whole year closer to becoming parents.  I was feeling depressed about having waited a whole year, with nothing to show for it, but her enthusiasm gave me a new perspective.  

She was one of the first people I called when we were placed, and the first one to bring us dinner.  As she sat in my living room holding our new born baby I told her how grateful I had been for having known her.  And I will never forget what she said next.  She looked me right in the eye and told me, now YOU can be a support to someone else, and you can be there for them.  Her comment has always stayed with me.  Maybe because her kindness and quiet manner was just what I needed at the time.  Maybe there is something so important about seeing a light at the end of a dark tunnel.  To have the perspective of someone who has been there, done that, and lived to tell the tell. 

But I feel a great responsibility from her admonition.  I have been amazed at the people who have come into my life that I have been able to talk with about infertility and adoption.  From total strangers, to close friends, to family.  Her words have become a prophesy being fulfilled.  I have tried to live up to her words and to be there for them the way she was for me.  But I worry that maybe I could have or should have done more, or maybe I have done too much.  

I will always be gratefully for that wonderfully lady, and I pray that I will be able to pass on the love and encouragement I felt from her to others.  That I, like she, will be a comforting ear to bend and shoulder to cry on, to anyone faced with the challenge of infertility.