Mia part 0.5

The Beginning

We have know Angel since we moved to Omaha. She attends the same ward that we do. She was already a friend before she became our birth mother.

Some of you know or remember (others may not), but in December of last year we tried to adopt Melissa's half siblings. It didn't work out and it was very very hard for me. You sometimes forget how difficult a failed adoption can be. We decided that since we had already done the hard part, and paid the application fee we would finish up our profile and get back on the "pick us" list. It took us a few weeks but we got our profile on line. It was weird but I felt very strongly that there was someone in Nebraska that we were going to adopt. It wasn't very many weeks after we got our profile done that Angel approached us about adopting her baby.

If the adoptions last year hadn't fallen through then I don't think we could have been in a position to accept Mia. And if we hadn't been trying to adopt again I wonder if Angel would have placed her baby for adoption. And I don't think that if we hadn't been here in this ward, and been so open about Melissa being adopted that she would have even considered it. The Lord was watching over us. Even when we things didn't go our way, He knew His way was better. I'm thankful that sometime He lets get a glimpse of the bigger picture. The glimpse that give us reason for some of the hard things we weather. Its plain to us that Mia was meant for our family and was meant to come to us through adoption.

But I digress. When Angel first asked us if we would be willing to adopt her baby, we were both cautiously optimistic. But being on the heels of the failed adoptions we were skittish about being hurt again. And it was really different knowing so early in her pregnancy. A new experience in our adoption world, and we weren't really sure how to handle it.

Here are a few thoughts I wrote on Sep 1 about the situation.
Sep 1
Its finally September. My mom was out two weeks ago and we did a lot of stuff to get ready for a baby. But now I'm driving my self crazy cuz now its just waiting. If I ever do get pregnant I think I would go crazy. I know how to wait to get picked but I don't know how to wait for someone to go into labor. A is so great and we just love her so much. I know this is going to be so hard on her and I hope that it brings some positive changes for her. She continues to be positive and she talks about how Melissa is going to handle things when the baby gets here and to bug us about names. Speaking of names after much heated debated nothing has been decided.

But I think both Kent and I are still leery. I think its because we have had so many tough experiences that we are afraid of getting hurt again. Its easier this time being close to our birth mom but every time the phone rings and its A part of us expects the worst. (Not that we don't trust A but there are lots of other elements that are out of her control and ours, and they have burned us before). When we first found out about A being pregnant and she approached us about adopting her, it was a wait and see game. But then as A grew more confident I had a hard time accepting it. I knew I was holding my self back to protect myself from getting hurt. I really struggled with it. I finally turned it over to the Lord and have been at peace since then. I think that's the hardest thing and one of the best things about adoption is you don't have control and you really have to learn to trust. Trust the birth mom, trust the Lord and trust that if the worst does happen you can survive. Either way I wish it were October.


As it was I didn't have to wait till October after all. And it was fun to be able to pick our a car seat and a new stroller. Angel even helped me pick stuff out.